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contact

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"Happy and healthy sexuality is essential to create self-confident humans who are positive and believe in themselves."

tessacusters

• 3 tips to use dance as an effective way to rel

• 3 tips to use dance as an effective way to release emotions ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Last Monday I started my week again with dance, together with other women from different places in the world we moved our bodies to start the week attuned with our bodies. Over the years it has become very clear to me that dancing helps me to move emotions through and out of my body and mind. A very effective way to digest what is inside of me. More and more I also allow the more raw and dark emotions to move inside and through me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Like anger, rage, and also deep grief or the frustration that comes with feeling powerless. The dance is not so much a dance anymore as I used to know dance, but more an intuitive movement. It is a surrender into the song and the moment, and just let my body decide what it needs and wants. It used to scare me a bit, because sometimes I start moaning, screaming or moving in ways that might seem inappropriate to others. However, in the right space, and with the right music, I started to feel safe enough to allow it to happen. With so much liberation and release as a result!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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3 tips:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
1. Find different kind of music, that speaks to you, for different kind of emotions; ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Create a safe space for yourself so you can allow your body to move the way it needs to move. Feel the emotion, embody it and let it express itself the way it wants. You can be inside, or out in nature. Be honest to yourself what you need to feel safe; ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Take time afterwards to nourish yourself. This can be a few moments of silence, listening to a song that soothes you, drinking a cup of calming tea, walking bare feet outside to ground or you might want to journal about your experience. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Happy moving, and if you feel like joining me on Monday mornings, send me a DM or leave a comment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Much love! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Tes x

• Sister Circle, this Friday 22th of Jan ♡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Women need sisterhood. A place to get together and to feel connected with other women. This can be done is lots of different ways. Through sharing experiences and stories, or to just be together and feel that you are supported and welcome just as you are, without judgement. Without words and with practices that connect you to your body, mind and soul in a more energetic way. In this way you are also connecting to the other women in the circle. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This can be offline or online. And however I know that many of you are craving offline connections and meeting other women (so am I!), online can also serve the need of being with other women. Especially when it comes to connecting to your sensual self it sometimes feels even better, because you can create a really safe space in your own house while being connected with others. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sensuality is different to sexuality. Sensuality has all to do with your body, with feeling, with being present in the here and now. With your senses, and with pleasure. In day-to-day life we are often too busy to connect with these parts of ourselves, and that is why I am hosting the monthly sensual self-care sister circles. To create time to be with your sensual self, while being connected to a group of women. Being and feeling safe and loved. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This Friday we will open the new year with a beautiful practice to embody your intention/vision for this new year in all layers of your body! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Date: 22 January 2021⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Time: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7-8 pm CEST ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
8-9 pm SAST⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Please sign up by using the link in bio, or send me your email in a DM. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Would love to connect with you this Friday! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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xo, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Tes⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#sistercircle #authenticself #sensualself #sensualselfcare #selfcare #selflovepractice #womencircle #sisterhood

• What do you think about Divine Timing? Yester

• What do you think about Divine Timing?

Yesterday I took my intention card of the week and it showed me the word timing. After reading the description I added the word divine, #divinetiming.

A friend of mine used the word lately and it was a great reminder that the universe works like this. Like nature. Nature knows and trusts that everything works in a cyclic way, and that everything has a divine timing. That you can’t make grass to grow, it will grow by itself (in the right context and with the right conditions).

Life has shown me many many times that things have their own timing. That the more I try to push or pull things to get it my way, or to get what I thought I wanted, the more it exactly got away from me. The moment I let go of expectations or attachment, it comes to me. In its own way and its own time. This doesn’t mean I set back and do nothing. No, I set intentions and I work actively on patience and trust. Embodying the belief and the knowing that the universe got my back. Because she always has. It might look different then I initially thought, but she cares for me. For the better.

Have you gotten experience with this? That timing always seems right? That situations, people, teachers appear at the exact right time?

I am curious!

Share your favorite Divine Timing experience in the comments below.

xo,
Tes

#cyclicliving #cyclicalliving #theuniversegotyourback
#freeyourfeminine #inititationintowomanhood

📸@mapodile

• Opening your heart to your path, will free you

• Opening your heart to your path, will free your soul. Do you dare to choose?

If there is anything I learned this year, is that you always have a choice in how you see and perceive the world.

For example, if you wake up grumpy you have the choice to either stay grumpy and let the grumpiness determine your day, or you could choose to embrace your grumpiness, do a practice that will bring your back to your center and let the grumpiness move through you and eventually out of your body and system.

Feelings and emotions are ephemeral. A word I learned this year, meaning “fleeting". They last for a short time if you allow them to be.

It is YOU who chooses, consciously or unconsciously, to hold on to something or not. And believe me, I know from personal experience and understand that holding on to something that seems safe and familiar is far easier than choosing change. Our ego’s seem to dislike change, and like to stay in a victim role.

However, more and more I see around me that the people who choose to walk their path, who choose to connect with higher vibrations (f.e. love and joy) - they Sparkle!

They sparkle through all that is coming their way. Because let’s be honest, choosing your path is not for the faint-hearted. It requires courage. Courage to step up, show up, time and time again, to stay true to you and your choices. Even if that means that you will boo-eh, judged and questioned by those around you.

Opening your heart to your path means change and confrontations. You might get hurt along the way. And you most likely will. You might experience ecstatic joy. And I know you will. You will cry, you will rage, you will fear, you will laugh and you will experience the deepest love.

Opening your heart to your path, your life, will free your pussy, your soul, your spirit, your essence. Or any other word that resonates with you. You will free this part of you, listen to it and let it guide you through life.

Your deeper wisdom and inner voice is so much stronger than your fear. Your true self so much stronger than your old patterns and behavior.

The choice is yours.

So the only questions that remains is, what will you choose in 2021?

More > comments

• Slow down and Surrender Female sexuality thr

• Slow down and Surrender

Female sexuality thrives when you really learn to slow down, let go of expectations and surrender fully into the moment.

If you need a little support in slowing down: my new blog post shares a beautiful restoration rest pose. Link in bio :)

#femalesexuality #surrender #slowdown #slowingdown #thriving #beingpresent #hereandnow #noexpectations

• The wisdom inside you is hidden in silence #

• The wisdom inside you is hidden in silence

#notetoself #newmoon #collageartwork

• The real miracle of reclaiming the Wild Woman

• The real miracle of reclaiming the Wild Woman

“The real miracle of individuation and reclamation of the Wild Woman is that we all begin the process before we are ready, before we are strong enough, before we know enough; we begin a dialogue with thoughts and feelings that both tickle and thunder within us. We respond before we know how to speak the language, before we know all the answers, and before we know exactly to whom we are speaking.”

- Clarissa Pinkola Estés

#wildwoman #wildwomen #wildwomenrising #wildwomanrising #freeyourfeminine #reclaimingwildwoman

• When a group of women come together… Tomor

• When a group of women come together…

Tomorrow is already the last module of my Free Your Feminine program. A six week journey with a group of awesome and brave women who are ready to dive deeper into what it means to them to be a woman.

It is amazing to see what happens when women come together as themselves and share their magic. How sharing helps to realize that none of us is alone on this path, that we all share the same struggles, challenges, mysteries, beauty and radiance. That it shows up in different patterns, different areas of life and at different phases in our lives.

Again it is a realization that in my view something is missing in our educational system, or upbringing, and that is the deep and embodied connection to our bodies, emotions and pleasures. That most of us simply have not been told how to do this, or have not learned that living an embodied life is an option and possibility.

I am in awe of all the women in this group. For their courage to go there, to look at parts of themselves that might have been hided for a long time, to face themselves, to listen in, to see and feel how their patterns hold them back from what they truly want. To find themselves on the other side, feeling that they are whole with all they are. And that it is an extreme pleasure to feel this in every cell of their being.

With a dash of Pussy Sparkle,

Tessa

P.s. if you also want to start freeing your feminine, go to my bio and download the free sensual self-care ritual. And stay tuned to hear about the next round of my group program!

#freeyourfeminine #inititationintowomanhood

• Fertility and Female Sexuality ‘All the as

• Fertility and Female Sexuality

‘All the aspects of the journey – cycles, fertility, pregnancy, arousal, orgasm, birth and breast-feeding – are all part of the integral whole that is female sexuality. It is one of the tragedies of our culture that we’ve severed pregnancy, birth and breast-feeding from their messy, earthy, embodied sexual roots. To fully appreciate female sexuality, we must remember (and re-remember) these connections, which hold true at a primordial level whether the woman in question chooses (or is able) to reproduce or not.’
-Sheri Winston

I had the privilege to work with Kay and her conception process. Unfortunately this process is coming with a lot of taboos and conditioning. I have seen many people shut down, not sharing their story. Out of fear of being judged, or being a failure as a woman. Being too fertile, not fertile at all, or something in between. Choosing to have children, or not to have children. Not able to have children with a deep desire to become a mom. Every woman has her own story, and I believe it is important to create a safe space to listen these.

It has been a great honor to work with my client on exploring her story, her body, and her mind. To explore and embody the feelings, emotions and beliefs that were stored in her body around being a woman and her conception process. To come out on the other side deeply in touch with how beautiful it is to be a woman, and to trust the process and timing of the of miracles in life:

“My sessions with Tessa were fundamental in me finding real insight and peace with my body and the emotions surrounding the conception process. With her gentle guided visualizations and tools I was able to let go of my gnawing anxiety, doubt and sense of lack surrounding this topic…and I came out the other side with a deepened sense of gratitude and connection to what it is to be a women. I now more fully & whole heartedly trust the process and the timing of miracles in my life. I feel like Tessa has the ability to reveal the vulnerable beauty and courage that lives within in us all through her work. I look forward to working with her again in the future!”

🌺

• The vagina is part of the female soul ☾ Tod

• The vagina is part of the female soul ☾

Today I want to share this quote of @naomirwolf, because it explains nicely why I choose working with female sexuality. Because working with female sexual pleasure is so much more then sexuality, or just pleasure. The vagina is a gateway to the female soul, and therefore to your deepest truth. A homecoming and freedom.  
"Female sexual pleasure, rightly understood, is not just about sexuality, or just about pleasure. It serves as a medium of female self-knowledge and hopefulness; female creativity and courage; female focus and initiative; female bliss and transcendence; and as a medium of a sensibility that feels very much like freedom. To understand the vagina properly is to realize that it is not only coextensive with the female brain, but is also, essentially, part of the female soul" -Naomi Wolf   So that is why working with your sexuality will bring you closer and closer to who you are, to feeling safe and free in who you are. With yourself and in relation to the world.

With a dash of pussy sparkle,

Tes   

#femalesoul #vivalavagina #femalesexualitycoach #femalesexualitycoaching

• Join the last sister circle of 2020, this Frid

• Join the last sister circle of 2020, this Friday! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For me it is such a nourishing thought to round off this intense, challenging and transforming year in togetherness with other women. To breathe together, move together, slow down and release together. To create a sacred, safe and sensual space to do so. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It is free. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Via Zoom. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There is no expectations, meaning that you can stay muted, switch your camera off, and be present in that, or the other way around, whatever feels aligned and safe to you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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7-8 pm CEST ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
8-9 pm SAST⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Who would you like to share a sister circle with and round off this year with all the love, nourishment and care for yourself? Let me know in the comments! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Please feel welcome! You can sign up via link in bio, or by sending me a DM and I will send you the details later this week! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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With a dash of pussy sparkle, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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❤️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Tessa⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#sistercircle #sensualselfcare #womenscircle⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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photo credits: @by_veda

• Leave a sparkle wherever you go! Image by @sa

• Leave a sparkle wherever you go!

Image by @sandrakorse captured during the making of a short documentary on the lives of four women who started their first ever burlesque journey.

Coming from a totally different background all four women invite us into their lives and share their personal story with us. Stories in which they show their true nakedness. Stories of courage. Of doubt and insecurity. Of embodying the Goddess within.

A film not only about the act of sensual dancing itself, but about the value of a community, about finding the courage to take up space in this world and about finding the strength to fully embrace who they are.

This documentary is a true and honest portrait of four amazing women, who each share their own personal story. Stories that the world needs to hear. Now more than ever.

The result can be seen in the short documentary "Revealing the hidden parts of me":

www.youtube.com/sandrakorse.
filmed in cooperation with @lady_magnolia_burlesque/

#burlesque #shortdocumentary #freeyourfeminine #beyoursexyself

• Celebrating our 3 year anniversary today! It

• Celebrating our 3 year anniversary today!

It has been beautiful to reflect this past week on my relationship with @davidhoustonsound . On how we met, how I had to go back to Holland, how I soon felt that I wanted to give our special connection a chance, how irrational that choice was, and also that I felt this was the only right thing to do. A voice deep inside of me assured me it was a good leap of faith to take.

On how we struggled, how we are the perfect match in the sense of deep clashing childhood wounds (lots of potential growth and healing, but scary as fuck). On how wobbly we have been at times, and on how I learned to stay when things get difficult, instead of walking away. On how I learned to communicate my truth, even when I thought he was going to leave me when he would see the real me. I spoke, he stayed. I gained back my trust. My trust in men, trust in myself and my trust that intimate relationships can be fulfilling and liberating.

Our celebration took us to a most lovely place, @nimalodge. And we did what we do very well: spending time in magical places, being, cooking epic meals, napping, making love, hiking, swimming, creating silence, sparking creativity and bathing (the first time we had a bath that fitted both of us, with straight legs!).

Thank you Dave, for being your magical self and co-creating this crazy beautiful life together. Happy Anniversary. I love you and I can’t wait for the many adventures that lie ahead of us.

With a dash of pussy sparkle,

Tessa

#anniversary #bettertogether #sexytogether

• Here is why I love to start my week moving my

• Here is why I love to start my week moving my body!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Every week I choose 3 songs to start my week with. Dancing with other women, connecting through our bodies. It is an interesting process because the only thing that I am insecure about is my choice of music. There is no shame or insecurity anymore of sharing my dancing body, I don’t mind people watching me, seeing me. My choice of music however is a different game. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Last Monday I felt that I needed some darkness. Some Mondays I need light, sometimes I need funny. And deep down I still carry the belief that women want light and funny, and not the dark. Although I know women are craving it. To let their primal come to the surface, their wild, even if they are not aware of it. We all have a beautiful beastly animal inside of us. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Just before the dance started something made me very angry and irritated, and I knew the songs were going to help me. Moving through the dark, let the emotions flow and breathe, to eventually feel some happy tunes in the end. Reminding me that pleasure and joy can be found in all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And of course, the song I was most scared of playing was received very well. People loved it. Kim send me a message afterwards what the dance had done to her: ‘Connecting to other women, each from their own lives. After the dance I sat, and looked at life from my body, feeling like a just had a massage’. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I could not have explained it any better. What a way to start my week! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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♡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Tessa ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#freeyourfeminine #bodymedicine #movementmedicine

• LAST CHANCE to sign up for my Free Your Femini

• LAST CHANCE to sign up for my Free Your Feminine program

Tomorrow my six week Free Your Feminine program will start. An epic journey with amazing other women to awaken the true and authentic woman inside of you. And removing blockages and beliefs that are holding you back from getting there.

All of the modules have been chosen carefully and are a summary of my favorite tools that have helped me the most to re-remember the woman that I am. The tools that helped me to grow out of disconnect and childish behaviour into being a mature woman. I like to call it an initiation into womanhood. A journey that only started later in life, because I didn’t have a proper initiation in my teen years.

We will end the 6 week journey with an amazing ritual. A ritual to first step up in feeling safe in your sexiness, to then really embody it and feel it through your five senses.

When I think back of my teenage years I get these beautiful memories of myself feeling confident in my sexiness. In that what sexiness means to me. It was creative, it was playful, it was flirty and in my eyes sexy :) Over the years I have felt criticized and looked at, and slowly the innocence of my younger me faded. Sometimes it came out again, but unfortunately I needed alcohol for that. I did not feel safe showing it. Especially, I came to realize lately, amongst other women. Working with this, and increasing the safety, and knowing when and when not to share my sexiness with the outside world, has been incredibly liberating! I am connected with her again, the innocent, playful, sensual, creative and flirty part of me. And I have found outlets to share her with the outside world.

We’ll start tomorrow evening with a beautiful small group of women. And we have still space for you. Please join us if you want to initiate yourself, with other women, into the liberating, creative and intuitive world of womanhood.

With a dash of Pussy Sparkle,

Tessa

p.s. you can book your spot directly on my website, see link in bio. Or you can send me a DM!

#freeyourfeminine #initiationintowomanhood

• Pleasure is a birthright for every human being

• Pleasure is a birthright for every human being ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Pleasure comes in multiple forms and is different to everyone. Pleasure is a physical experience, the sensations of it are created in the body and belong to the body. And it belongs to the nervous system. You could even say that orienting towards pleasure is a necessity for your nervous system. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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One form of allowing yourself pleasure is through s♡x. S♡x with yourself, or s♡x with a partner. I do know that not everyone experiences it like this, however I believe it is possible for (almost) everyone to orient towards it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The central theme of Module 5 of my Free Your Feminine program is pleasure. And orgasm. We look into the fact that women’s pleasure and orgasms are still often mapped to fit the male model (turn on – build up – climax – recover) and learn that there is so many ways of orgasm. Climax for example is an optional aspect and sometimes not even the most pleasurable and fulfilling for a woman. We will study and practice the three core components of the orgasm experience that mainstream culture has little knowledge about: pleasure, expansion, mind-shift/surrender. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Oh, and having an orgasm has lots of benefits, and not only for your sexual health: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. Lowers stress ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Releases endorphin⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Tones the pelvic muscles ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4.. It can relieve pains (incl. menstrual cramps)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Boosts your immune system⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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♡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Tessa⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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p.s. Today is your LAST chance to join the program for the early bird price! Check the link in bio, or send me a DM for more info :)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#freeyourfeminine #sexualhealth

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Copyright 2021 Tessa Custers | photos by Mapodile