Why not me?

Why not me?

12 October 2021

Why not me?


One of the articles I came across that gave me some great insights was one written by Lucy Hone on resilient grieving. She basically says that if you are alive you will probably have to deal with some tough times in your life. Tragedy and sorrow will happen. 

She wanted to be an active participant in her grieving process, and with all the tools and research she knew, find her way. I guess that is one of the reasons why I related to her article, from the beginning I have had a strong feeling to do it my (and our) way. Following my own intuition, AND reaching out for the help of others. Trusting that the right people and information would cross my path. By now I can assure you they did, all at the exact right divine timing. 

There were two tactics that Lucy Hone shares that really helped me and I would love to share with you: 

  1. Instead of asking: Why me?,
    change it into: Why not me?
    Know that suffering is part of life. And that we have a choice how to deal with it when it crosses our path.
  2. Is what I am doing helping or harming me? To honestly ask yourself that question (and like you might understand while reading this: this question can be applied to many other contexts).

That doesn’t mean that I never ask myself: Why? Why me? Why us? Why Jade?
Because I also believe that this is an important part of my process. To be angry and to find losing Jade very unfair. That I sometimes just want to hide in a world with only unicorns, bliss, golden confetti and magic. Like I used to do as a child, that was my safe space. I still go there every now and then, I just hide in my fantasy world and I come out whenever I feel ready. Because at that time it is helping me (and my nervous system)!

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