I allow myself to be held

I allow myself to be held

Allowing myself to be held

In these four months I haven’t read a lot about grieving, mainly because I feel and I have felt that it takes me away from my own experience. Every now and then I came across some inspiring articles or posts that somehow have a different and inspiring view. The same with people. It has been so refreshing to for example meet our new GP that just blew our minds, he did not make us feel like victims at all, but he met us right where we were. On top of that he gave us a very valuable insight (and the most amazing homeopathic remedy for fear of death!).

First of all he saw that we were grieving. That we did not hide anything, that we were moving through it with all the tools and practices we know. And next to having both our own journey, we are having a journey together. After sharing what we came across he explained to us that the most challenging thing for us would be to stay centered and to see when other people are projecting their pain and/or emotions on us. He told us that our news and our story will touch something in them, and based on their personality, on their background, their history, their karma (and so on) they will react and respond. That doesn’t mean that this is what we should feel as well. That when someone bursts into tears when they see me, that I have to cry as well. I might, if that comes up. But I don’t have too. Maybe I am having a good day and feel happy.

What I can do is meet this person in their pain and keep centered in my own essence. Staying true to what I feel. Sometimes that also means putting up a clear boundary. Sometimes that means to not meet a certain person. Not because I don’t like or love them, but because I have a choice, and I have the task to look after myself. To be super gentle, and to choose me over and over.

I am learning that this is not egoistic, but that this is what true self love is about. Knowing and feeling where I am at, what I have to give and what I don’t have to give. That this time in my life is about receiving. To allow myself to be held, and to make the choices accordingly to that.

#blaw2021 #stillbirth #resilientgrief #holisticgrief #holisticgrieving #selflove

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